and they said...nothing.
why silent treatment is so painful...
Hi friends,
One of the most unsettling ways people react to your boundaries is probably the silent treatment.
Some people, when they are upset about something, just completely close themselves off.
Instead of telling you that they don’t like the boundary (which is still not the best way to react to it, but at least you know what’s going on…), they just stay silent.
Many of them don’t do it consciously, but it’s generally a way to discourage you from trying to set boundaries with them.
They are punishing you for doing something they don’t like.
When you’re not used to setting boundaries and standing up for yourself, this situation can be extremely confusing.
If you grew up thinking that the worst thing ever is making people upset, receiving the silent treatment can feel like a nightmare.
You might start to think you did something wrong, that you shouldn’t have said it that way… and not knowing exactly what upset them can push you into a full shame/guilt cycle.
Not fun.
That’s why today I wanted to stress this:
When adults are upset, they are responsible for letting you know why.
If they don’t, it’s not your job to guess.
Keeping you in the dark while making you feel that something is not ok is a sign of emotional immaturity.
Protecting your boundaries (especially from emotionally immature people) is not easy.
But when you can identify the different ways they will try to push them back, it’s much simpler!
That’s exactly what I’ll teach you in the next issue of The Bravefire.
⚠️ There are only 3 days left to join before the July issue is printed and shipped, so please subscribe now if you want to get this issue in your mailbox 📮
I get emails every month from people who missed the deadline, and no, you won’t be able to get this issue if you’re not on the list by the 1st day of the month 💔
Have a lovely day,
Alice
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🪧 Alice’s little book stand
Morning! The stand’s just opened 🌞!
Everything here is fresh-picked, made with care, and crafted by me.
Take your time. Have a browse. 🌱
🌼 Fresh this morning:
📖 Raised by Emotional Ghosts
For daughters who wonder if they deserved better parents. The words for what you’ve been feeling for years. Special 50% discount + bonus!
📖 ADHD & Emotions
A pocket guide to break the shame, drawn so your brain doesn’t yawn.
📖 The Invisible ADHD Woman
A little guide and quiz for the women who masked so well no one saw them struggling. Just $3.
📖 Could It Be ADHD? — The friendly workbook that helped 30,000+ people assess themselves peacefully, at home, made by a late-diagnosed brain. Now in paperback on Amazon.
💌 The Bravefire
Tucked in an envelope, sent to your door each month. Emotional support in your mailbox. No screens, no scrolling. Real ink on real paper, mailed anywhere in the world 🌸
🧺 Or come see everything at the stand.
Thanks for stopping by. See you next market morning! 🌷
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